We’re all friends here right?
It’s a judgement free zone here I hope…
Because PMS monster mommy came out in full force yesterday, and I was a mess.
My toddler had been crying, screaming, and flailing around for an hour and I was trying to get dinner ready (of course).
He was filthy from being outside and so I was doing my best to wash the sand, yes, sand (another story) off him and get his PJs on.
I was in the middle of a applying Aquaphor to a slippery, wiggly toddler when I bent over Macklin at the same time as he stood up.
Blood started oozing out of my lip. I was in so much shock, I just burst out crying and Macklin froze in place and looking at me in horror, unsure what to do.
I grabbed some paper towel, and looked at the damage done. There was a pretty deep cut, and I panicked. I immediately started panicking about whether or not I would need stitches.
I could feel myself getting faint and a bit dizzy from the panic and sight of the blood.
So, I surveyed the current situation.
I had two kids outside playing and one half naked covered in aquaphor and sand in the house. Ok, three kids and a busted lip. I needed help.
So I did what any sane (insane) person would do, and I called my mom.
Actually, I FaceTimed her, all tear streaked and sobbing, almost hyperventalating.
I showed her the cut, and she said it looked ok, and I wouldn’t need stitches. She said to get ice and to take some deep breaths. Call my stepfather if I needed to, he was home. I started to calm down. I was in a lot of pain, but the kids were safe, and I knew Jon would be home soon.
When I have PMS, I can’t deal with things like I normally can. It takes almost nothing to make me angry, start sobbing or yelling. I think horrible things about my kids, my life, and myself during these few days each month.
It’s like I turn into Dr. Jekyll.
So when I face challenges during this time, especially bigger ones than usual, I really struggle to be my best self. Actually I struggle to be myself at all.
I have learned it’s because my lid flips much more quickly when it’s that time of the month.
Flipped lids cause us all (especially our kids), to stop behaving rationally, and instead act completely from an emotional place.
And you can imagine having a parent with a flipped lip and a child with a flipped lid, we have even more trouble.
Dr. Dan Segel talks about the idea of the “Brain in the Palm of your Hand”. It’s a visual representation what happens to the brain when our emotions take over, and the rational brain can no longer be accessed.
It can be a powerful representation for you to understand what’s happening in your mind when you are paniked, angry, in despair, or stressed.
And you can even use this one simple signal to help you and your kids communicate when your emotions are hijacking your brain.
But yesterday, I didn’t remember to use any of the calming tools I know would have helped me.
I didn’t use brain the palm of my hand, I didn’t go to a mommy time out, I didn’t even become aware of my thoughts and try to change them…
I just sat down on the couch and cried until my husband came home.
And I felt better.
Watch my Facebook live here to see me explain what a flipped lid is and how it can help you and your kids when the monster takes over.
I know what you’re going through –PMS, crazy toddler, flipped lid and all, and I can help you gain clarity, self compassion, and calm with a 20 minutes to a calmer parent call. We can’t see how our brains are getting in our way on our own, we need someone else to do that for us. During this call, I will help you to shift how you see parenting, how you view your kids, and how you see yourself and your life. It’s that powerful. Let me help you feel better.